The defining album of grabyourface's career.. Marie started music as an outlet for the pain, trauma, and abuse suffered in their life, now GYF releases the culmination of that journey of sadness, acceptance, and now hopefully.. healing. This is as emotional a journey possible through the museum of Marie's mind. This album is a poignant exploration of pain, resilience, and self-discovery, perfectly expressed through the medium of electronic music. As a close friend to Marie, I am fully appreciative of the gravitas the album and it's content contain, as such, I am deeply, deeply proud of them for finally finishing it and bringing that vulnerability to the public eye!
This community therapy-like release is by far one of the finest albums I have ever had the pleasure to review.
(It also hit top of most of our communities genre's on Bandcamp at release and also hit top 20 on all of Bandcamp!)
This whole album has reminded me of the strong emotions I felt whilst listening to the first Evanescence album as a teenager. Sadgirl Mixtape is profound.
grabyourface
S A D W A V E
This is the album of a lifetime. The album I always wanted to make. Music to cry to in your car at night, while driving to nowhere under the streetlights' alternating beams.
The soundtrack that I needed in some of the darkest moments of my life, that I give to you now so you won't be missing it next time YOU need it.
Sadgirl Mixtape is a carefully crafted collection of sad songs that I made during the past 7 years. It was never the right time to release it until it was. It's like it was quietly sitting in a corner of my life until I finally composed the last members of the cast; All I have Is Love, All I Do Is Destroy, You Will Never Be Happy, and Rain On The Car Roof.
Eventually I also made an unplanned cover of one of my favourite songs ever, Les Mots Bleus by Christophe. The drama and soft intensity of this song suddenly fit perfectly with the rest of the album so I decided to include it as a Bandcamp exclusive.
I hope you enjoy my emo offering.
STOP A MOMENT!
Please consider donating or fundraising for Beyond Reflections who supply an essential service to so many.
www.beyond-reflections.org.uk @BeyondReflectUK
Their support really does save lives!
---
We also support our good friends at Beat:Cancer, you can click the logo to donate and also keep up to date with their awesome music events on the B:C website!
Interview
Q. Hello again Marie! Can you talk us through where GYF was when we first met, and the journey you’ve taken to this release?
So when we met at Infest 2022 I was in my angry phase fueled by the horrific political and social events in the world and my several collabs with artists who make much faster and harder music than me. I wanted to try and get in that zone myself, try and go fast and hard. It was a perfect timing that I was so angry at capitalism and governments. Now I'm not less angry, but I can't do shit about it and it makes me sad, so I'm back to talking about my little feelings instead.
Q. Please can you walk us through the segments of the album that you mentioned before?
I was torn about sharing those details or not during the listening party as I thought maybe it would be TMI, and opening up a bit too much about my personal life. But then I remembered that knowing about an art piece and the reason behind it makes it so much more relatable and intense, so I decided to go for it and share. But it’s still a bit tough!
The first two tracks are about my father. We had a complicated relationship throughout my whole life and he died suddenly before I was able to solve those issues and start really communicating with him. He opened up in ways he had never before literally days before passing and I will never forget that.
The next two are about relationships I had, many times, with people who loved me with all their heart and that I was unable to love correctly. I couldn’t give enough, or give right, and I had the impression that I was abusive and a bad person. So I thought the best thing I could do for them was to leave them, even if that felt like the worst thing for them at the time.
The next three are about the darkest period of my life. I was in a very bad relationship from which I was not sure at the time I could ever escape alive. They also serve as a reminder of what I felt then, because with the PTSD it caused I have very little memory of that time, so my lyrics help me remember. I’ll let the songs speak for themselves.
All I Have is Love, All I Do Is Destroy is about… It’s about the fact that even if you have the best intention in the world, and the purest love to give, you can still break everything. It’s about the fact that sometimes, you have to unfeel those feelings for everyone’s sake.
You Will Never Be Happy and Rain On The Car Roof are about my inability to live normally. To BE normal. The drama and impossible nature of having to exist everyday on a physical plane and interact with the physical world. A brain full of intense feelings, pain, empathy and depression within a world that lacks empathy and only cares about productivity.
Q. Are there particular lyrics or important points or memories rooted in the songs that you want to highlight and explain in greater depth for the audience?
I want people to feel all those small visual moments that I give them in the songs, like the cup of coffee getting cold, or waving at no-one on the train platform cause everyone’s gone. Those moments of everyday drama, heartbreaking little things that change the color of the sky and make your smile forever a little veiled, a little sad.
Q. On that note, can you please pick out some particular lyrics or sections throughout the album that you are particularly proud of or have the deepest meaning to you?
In the merciless heat of summer
My heart is so broken I drive at the speed limit
In the merciless heat of summer
Mon cœur se meurt.
Q. What is next for GYF, you’ve joked to me before about retiring but I sincerely hope this is not true?
Especially with the albums success so far and the great artists you often work with now.
Next I'm gonna take a little break from music and make visual art as I've not had any time to draw and paint in the past months because I was making the album, and I miss it very much. I have multiple graphic design commissions that I need to get started on as well.
I also want everyone to hear Sadgirl Mixtape and will be going on about that for a while!
That said, I have a very clear idea of my next release.
Q. Is there an overall message you wish the audience to take away from the album?
Being comfortably sad is quite nice sometimes.
Q. Has the album been as cathartic as you hoped? Do you feel it managed to cover everything you’ve wanted to express, or is there more in the depths of your mind to come?
There is always more depth, as long as you’re alive and feeling the sad feels ahah.
But yes Sadgirl Mixtape has been cathartic. Important, life-saving. I’m very proud of it.
Q. Are there any important lessons you have learnt from your GYF experience over the last few years?
Be nice to everyone. Everyone is sad.
Q. Anything you’d like to say to your fans?
If you can drive, drive with Sadgirl Mixtape. If you have earphones, walk at sunset or after dark with Sadgirl Mixtape. If you have the sads, listen to Sadgirl Mixtape. And share it to your sad friends. God knows we need it.
Review
I mainly wish for the majority of this album to speak for itself, writing a long thought on each track for once seems.. inappropriate. It's not my place to expand on or to try and explain someone else's pain, someone else's memories, heartbreak, agony, and experiences.. None of us can. What I will say is that the opening track sets everything up that follows very, very well. 'Everything Remains The Same' is somber, yet.. 'light' in sound? I suppose.. The keys, the drums, the melody is that of a chilled summer liquid funk / electronica vibe.. The lyrics however pain edged do have a melody of hope and healing from the past that the overall album represents in a way. It is beautiful, haunting, and paradoxically peaceful.. During the listening party at release, Marie told us a few details about each track, mainly that the album was in several sections representing times in their life.. During 'The Black Of My Hoodie' Marie shared a very personal explanation of when this song was written, maybe they will feel able to tell it again in the interview, maybe not. This is a song about loss. It is relaxed in pace and poetic. A spoken track with a touch of melodic singing that adds just the right amount of edge and depth.
'Bubbles Of Me' has a long noted synth adding a cyberpunk ambience to the emotive nature of the track. Light metal percussion chime out a contrasting innocence in combination with the talk of 'bubbles' that contrast the actual lyrical nature of the song's meaning of previous relationships.
Taking a long deep breath in to 'My Last Act Of Love' where the track kicks in with digital rising notes of retro 'cuteness'.. The track gets slightly more intense as it goes on, adding more and more layers of notes and percussion. Marie's vocals grow as it builds making for an epic conclusion segment at around 4:50. A brilliant, brilliant piece.
'I Dream Of A Future Without You' is one of the two tracks that really hit me on my first listen and that I relate to very much on a personal level with my own experiences. It builds in a synth/retro wave style and I can see why Marie describes the album as Sadwave.. At 2:05 the tracks intensifies the atmospheric sense of entrapment, of urgency, but also a sort of call to action. When this is complimented at 3:40 by some of the most simple yet epic percussion in a track that I have ever heard, it brings the track to a whole other level. To give you an idea, if you took away the (Fantastic) lyrics and just played the track.. It would be something very much at home in a film like 'Dredd' or 'Terminator'. 'Tear Myself Away' brings in the heavier weaponry.. Almost tribal like drums pound out the emotions of deciding to get away from a toxic relationship. Again, another song that builds and crescendos, and does so brilliantly. 'Feeling Morbid' is deeper, with more bass, and has a very unique electronic sound at 1:09 and 3:07 that scratches my brain so, so good. Kind of like the sounds of bees swarming but it really does sound great and adds a complexity to the underlying bass and lyrical content that push a lot of genre boundaries and expectations. I LOVE it! The second song that really stood out to me was 'All I Have Is Love, All I Do Is Destroy'. It is a slow burner, allowing for the lyrics to really be the main focus - a self reflection. At 4:00 the tracks grows in agony and pace slowly, methodically. It really is a track that you need to appreciate for yourself.
I loved too intensely and I destroyed it.. Again. ... My heart is so broken.. I drive at the speed limit.
I wrote my previous article on 'You Will Never Be Happy' which you can read all about HERE.
'Rain On The Car Roof' hits very, very hard.. It is so poignant, edged with real world sounds of keys, car doors, rain, and tears.. It is deeply moving, powerful, and one of the best tracks on the album. Few lyrics have ever hit me as hard and powerfully as this..
So this is how adult life is, this is what they don't tell you. You gotta survive, push through and pretend that you don't want to jump off a bridge all the time. You live with the dread but act like you don't. And above all be thankful, people have it so much worse than you.. So much fucking worse!
Lastly a cover of the artist Christophe with 'Je Lui Dirai Les Mots Bleus' or roughly translated.. I will tell her the blue (sad) words. This really does add in that retro sci-fi edge, with a pace of intensity and power amongst the anguish. Marie's voice really does lend well to covering this.
Conclusion
Sadgirl Mixtape is a monumental album by grabyourface, showcasing what it is to use anguish as a muse. Marie's album is an embodiment of tragedy the likes of modern day Orpheus and Eurydice making this a masterpiece that stands uniquely tall amongst other masterpieces in comparison. This journey crafted from their experiences speaks loudly and deeply about the human experience. It is also mixed and mastered to perfection flowing masterfully from song to song making for an almost hypnotic flow of 'easy' listening goodness. I am reminded of this quote.. "Art is to console those who are broken by life."
— Vincent Van Gogh From the melancholy of 'Everything Remains The Same' to the cinematic intensity of 'I Dream Of A Future Without You', every track creates a window into moments of pain, resilience, and self- reflecting growth.
This album is a catharsis, played out with electronic soundscapes and deeply personal lyrics. Each track shows the courage to lay one's soul bare for the world to hear. For anyone who has ever lost, loved, or had to survive.. This album is for you, for us. A community joined together in shared pain.
Sadwave never sounded so powerful.
Thank you!
Quick note: Elektro Vox is an ad free site that costs a lot to run and get content for. If you like our work please consider commissioning an article, making a small donation to keep us running, or sub to our YouTube for band interviews and music streams. You can also list your band or business on our Alternative Directory! Thank you!
Check out the alternative directory for E-stores, online Goth goods, and new bands to discover. Get yourself listed with us!
Thank you for viewing and please feel free to share on social media and like us on Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook @ElektroVox
Comments